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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Please do not litter.
March 12, 2001
NOTE FROM SANDRA:
Think you've got what it takes to joke with the big dogs?
Oh yeah? Then send a 5-item list on any pet-related topic
to Top5Pets@topfive.com. If it makes the dog's tail
wag and the cat doesn't bury it in the litter box
we'll add you to our kennel of regular contributors.
Now for this week's topic... Responsible pet owners
recognize the importance of spaying or neutering yet
discussing the subject makes many people -- and no
doubt a lot of pets -- a weensy bit squeamish.
So we here at Top5 Pets thought we'd help out by suggesting...
The Top 7 Euphemisms for "Getting Fixed"
7> Aroma Therapy
6> Raising the low-rider
5> Catsnip
4> Losing your balls under the sofa. Forever.
3> You've got no male
2> Two balls, one strike
and the Number 1 Euphemism for "Getting Fixed"...
1> Visiting Hillary
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 27 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
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Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR -- 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 3, 6
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 4
Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA -- 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 5
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 7
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Topic, RU name, Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington VA -- List Vet
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Euphemisms for "Getting Fixed"
RUNNERS UP list -- "Cut List"
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Helping Rover clear the high fences
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
Kitty-cornered
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
Lassiectomy
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
Putting away the pink pencil
(Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA)
Putting just part of him to sleep
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
Switching from leg-humping to Frisbee-catching
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
The Ultimate Grooming Session
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
The worst game of "Fetch" ever
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
Runner Up list name
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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