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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                      What Would Lassie Do?


                           May 5, 2003


              The Top 9 Signs Your Pet Is Mad at You


 9> He humps your leg in front of company, and he's a goldfish.

 8> Your cat ignores you while facing *away* from you.

 7> Sure, all dogs bury bones in the back yard, but that 
    particular bone was still in your body at the time.

 6> When you ask your dog if she wants her belly scratched she 
    tells you she has a headache.

 5> Instead of a tennis ball, your Black Lab drops a severed 
    horse head at your feet.

 4> Your auto mechanic reports that your brake line wasn't so 
    much cut as it was gnawed.

 3> Someone's been leaving you anonymous voice mails calling you 
    a "rucking rastard."

 2> Your ferret ignores your keys and hides your heart 
    medication.


         and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is Mad at You...


 1> He hasn't told you to kill anyone in days.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 35 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH          -- 1 (2nd #1)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA          -- 2, 5, Topic
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA        -- 3, 7
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA         -- 4
Barb McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI            -- 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX                 -- 8
Gideon Griebenow, Potch, NorthWest, SA -- 9
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH      -- Runner Up list name
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA      -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA             -- List Vet

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                   Signs Your Pet Is Mad at You
                 RUNNERS UP list -- Pissed Off
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After making the dog stay outside all night, you find that all
your car's tires have been gnawed to shreds, including the spare
in the trunk.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Fluffy hacks up a hairball on your favorite shirt. While you're
wearing it.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

He's a cat. You exist. Do the math.
          (Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)
          (Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA)

Keeps confusing your naked naughty bits for a scratching post.
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Middle-finger shaped presents in the litter box.
          (Barb McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI)

She doesn't turn down your bed but she does leave a number of
"chocolates" on your pillow.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Someone's feathered friends mount a nightly Shock and Awe 
campaign on your car.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

When you got into the shower your slippers were fine. When you 
came out you found they had become the new, improved litter box.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)


Runner Up list name
          (Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)

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