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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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               To err is human, to forgive canine.


                          April 19, 2004

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

    A survey conducted by a toothpaste manufacturer revealed that
 52 percent of the humans tested had breath rated at a level that
             could be worse than that of a pet animal.

       "But Sandra," you wail, causing me to take a huge step
       backward, "how can I tell if *my* breath is that bad?"

          Help yourself to a mint and read the following:


        The Top 9 Signs You Have Worse Breath Than Your Pet


 9> Your spouse suggests sniffing butts as an alternative to
    kissing.

 8> Fido refuses to go for a ride in the car unless you hang
    that little pine-scented tree on your nose.

 7> Your parrot complains that you're a close talker.

 6> After smelling both your breath and the cat's, your wife
    accuses you of being the one who ate the hamster.

 5> Fluffy nominated your mouth as a Superfund site.

 4> The cat checks to see if his tuna bits have gone bad by
    doing a blind comparison with your breath.

 3> You call your pet pig and his flies arrive before he does.

 2> The dog brings you treats out of the litter box to freshen 
    up your breath.


                and the Number 1 Sign You Have 
                 Worse Breath Than Your Pet...


 1> All the parrot says these days is, "Curiously strong."



             [   Copyright 2004 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 43 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles Star, New York, NY                  -- 1, 7 (Good Rookie!    
                                               1st #1)
Darcey Allen, Corona, CA                    -- 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA               -- 3
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX                      -- 4, 5
Jim Phynn, Horsham, PA                      -- 6
Marlene K. Goodman, Wheeling, IL            -- 8
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                         -- 9
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI                -- Topic
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa  -- RU list name
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA           -- RU list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA              -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA                  -- List Vet

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            Signs You Have Worse Breath Than Your Pet
                  RUNNERS UP list -- Last Gasp
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Dogs try to sniff your face before sniffing your butt.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Mom packs a large bag of dental chews in your lunchbox.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

When you talk to her, she just stares off in a different direction
and ignores you. Of course, this could simply be a sign that you
have a cat.
          (Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI)

You approach the birdcage making kissy noises and Tweety falls off
the perch in a dead faint.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

You lean down to give your dearly departed cat a final kiss and 
the corpse rolls away from you.
          (Neal Stringer, Spring Hill, FL)

No matter what you throw for your dog to fetch, he always comes 
back with a bottle of Listerine.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
          (Neal Stringer, Spring Hill, FL)

Your dog is rolling on your face instead of the doo-doo in the 
backyard.
          (Marlene K. Goodman, Wheeling, IL)

Your spouse comes home and greets you with a friendly pat on the 
head, then French kisses the dog.
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)


Runner Up list name
          (Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa)
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)


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