TOP5 PETS

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                       The Taste Cats Love

                          July 14, 2003

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

    Four city policemen and three state conservation officers
    spent a day following a 300-pound black bear as it took a
     short tour of Elmira, New York. Its activities included
a visit downtown, swimming across the Chemung River and scaling
    a flood control wall. The bear eventually retreated safely
                  into the hills south of town.


     The Top 10 Items on the Itinerary of a Bear on the Town


10> Hang out with Robin Williams, exchange body-hair care tips.

 9> Kick some panda and koala butt. Poseurs.

 8> Pick up a hooker dressed like Goldilocks, serve her some "love
    porridge."

 7> Purchase some sexual aids for frigid polar bear wife.

 6> Picanic basket, schmicanic basket. There's a hot dog stand on
    the corner with "Yogi" written ALL over it.

 5> Go down to Wall Street and beat the crap out of that bull once
    and for all.

 4> Play dead in front of the fireplace at the Playboy Mansion.

 3> Same as every other tourist: Stare at the tall buildings, ride
    on the subway, maim a mime, visit the museums....

 2> Poop indoors.


              and the Number 1 Item on the Itinerary 
                    of a Bear on the Town...


 1> Walk into a bar and order a beer. Maul the bartender when he
    tries to charge $10.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 28 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 1 (3rd #1)
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- 2, 6, Topic
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 3, 10
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 4, 9
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS            -- 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH     -- 7
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA   -- 8
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA   -- 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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