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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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It's good for the carpet, honest.
November 18, 2002
The Top 9 Post-Neutering Greeting Cards
9> Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Guess who's fertile?
Sure isn't you!
8> I'm awful at poems,
That stuff's for the bards.
But won't you forgive me
For yanking your nards?
7> The doc went snip snip.
I'm not happy, dagnabbit.
What the hell d'you expect?
I'm a freakin' male rabbit!
6> Just a couple of snips
Then one or two stitches.
Find a new hobby --
You're through with the bitches.
5> You just might feel like howling
Since you know your sex life's gone.
But cheer up, you won't need toweling
From those hosings on the lawn.
4> You sit and you stay,
You lay down and beg,
But the trick that grew old
Was the one with my leg.
3> I happily deliver this card to you knowing that you no longer
need to hump my leg.
Best Regards, Your Mailman
2> "Vasectomy," we humans say
When gonads get the blade.
But puppy, now you've had your day:
Let's call a spayed a spayed.
and the Number 1 Post-Neutering Greeting Card...
1> We're sorry we snipped you,
We know that you're bitter.
But we really meant it
When we said, "Don't litter."
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 28 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA -- 1, 3 (4th #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2, 5
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 4, 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 6, 9, Topic
Kathy Good, Scottsdale, AZ -- 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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