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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                       Thou shalt not whine


                        February 24, 2003


             The Top 9 Drawbacks of Having a Goldfish


9> One more face in the house with a more intelligent expression
    than yours.

8> You have to be really careful when choosing a bowl to make
    Jell-O.

7> That whole "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die" thing every 
    time you clean the tank gets old after a while.

6> You always end up having to go get the Frisbee yourself.

5> Just one screwed-up attempt to corner the market, and your 
    fish is worth hundreds of dollars less an ounce.

4> That cool bandanna keeps falling off.

3> When she's in heat, all the neighborhood male goldfish hang 
    out in your yard.

2> Up until the ultrasound, you had your heart set on a baby.


       and the Number 1 Drawback of Having a Goldfish...


1> No matter how cold it is outside, you won't be having a three
    fish night.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 50 submissions from 17 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Mark Weiss, Austin, TX              -- 1, 6 (7th #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA        -- 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA       -- 3, 4, Topic
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 4
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY      -- 5, 7
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS              -- 8
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom SA  -- 9
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA   -- Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA      -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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                  Drawbacks of Having a Goldfish
                 RUNNERS UP list -- Fool's Gold
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Do a ferret owner's frat brothers dare him to eat his pet? I don't 
think so.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Every single time you give them a table-food snack, they just let
it float around until you have to clean it up.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Every time your hand gets near that little pirate chest full of
gold, he attacks.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

If you pet your pet, you get wet, it needs a vet.
          (Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA)

Whenever you make a cute little outfit for her, she just stays at
the bottom of the bowl until you take it off.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

The chorus of little bubbly screams every time you serve sushi.
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

The snuggling just isn't the same.
          (Kate Melnyk, Dedham, MA)

They're extremely ineffective in deterring burglars.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)


Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

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