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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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               Contains humor and humor by-products


                        August 12, 2002


The Top 9 Additives You Didn't Realize Were in Your Pet's Food


9> Eye saddeners

8> Finicky Encouragement Additive, not to be confused with plain
   ol' lousy-tasting food

7> Your first pet

6> Minoxidil; now you know why the groomer has raised her rates

5> Munchie-inducing catnip

4> "Wet dog smell" hormone

3> The ground-up remains of a little chuck wagon and four 
   tiny horses

2> Mailman au Jus


           and the Number 1 Additive You Didn't Realize
                    Was in Your Pet's Food...


1> Homework digestion enzymes



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 23 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA      -- 1, 9 (5th #1)
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA       -- 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA         -- 3
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA          -- 4, 8
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL             -- 5
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY         -- 6
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA          -- 7
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ        -- Topic
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA        -- Runner Up list name
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD        -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA            -- List Vet

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       Additives You Didn't Realize Were in Your Pet's Food
                   RUNNERS UP list -- Canned
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Anuses from dogs all over the world
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Aphrodisiac-hallucinogenic combination that makes your leg appear 
to be a female in heat
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Drool aroma enhancement
          (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)

Hamphetamines, to promote manic exercise-wheel activity
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

Imported Russian Caviar. Well, it's in *my* cats' food, at their 
sharp-clawed insistence.
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Scorn-inducing hormone, naturally found only in France
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)


Runner Up list name
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

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