==================================================================
              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
==================================================================

                   Enough humor to gag a maggot


                          June 30, 2003

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

     A Maryland dog trainer has been convicted of contracting
     defective bomb-sniffing dogs to the federal government.
     In one test his dogs and handlers were unable to detect
    50 pounds of dynamite and 15 pounds of plastic explosives
                       hidden in vehicles.


      The Top 8 Signs You Hired Defective Bomb-Sniffing Dogs


 8> A crate of "Kangaroo Jack" DVDs just went by and their ears
    didn't even perk up.

 7> They are delivered to you in a pizza box.

 6> The "Windows 98" tattoos on their ears were your first clue.

 5> Your suspect is carrying ten pounds of C4 and the dogs won't
    even hump his leg.

 4> Their trainer? Hans Blix.

 3> You've hidden the test explosives in the trunk of your car, 
    yet they zero in on your crotch.

 2> He alerts every time you watch a show on TNT.


             and the Number 1 Sign You Hired Defective 
                        Bomb-Sniffing Dogs...


 1> Finding the bombs isn't the problem. It's that whole "grab it
    and shake it like a dead rat" thing that's just not working.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


==================================================================
Selected from 23 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI           -- 1, 6 (4th #1)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX                        -- 2
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA                -- 3, 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA                 -- 4
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, South Africa -- 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH                 -- 8
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA                 -- 8
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH             -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA             -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA                    -- List Vet

==================================================================
[                  TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS                   ]
[            "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects             ]
[                     http://www.topfive.com                     ]
==================================================================
[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
==================================================================