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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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             Helps prevent and eliminate hairballs.


                        September 23, 2002


              The Top 10 Signs Your Pet Is Involved
              in a Conspiracy to Take Over the World


10> The invisible dog fence has been converted to a satellite
    transmitter.

 9> Well *you* certainly didn't order "World-Ruling Throne, Qty 1."

 8> He barks to get the squirrels' attention and then communicates
    with them in code by slyly licking his ass.

 7> Fido and his buddies have spent years perfecting a lawn-
    destroying chemical land mine.

 6> He's plumbed key toilets of the world together and then talks to
    the other dogs while pretending to get a drink.

 5> Dog Chow doesn't usually come with a surprise in the package,
    let alone laser-guided missile parts.

 4> Instead of a Frisbee, your dog is playing catch with a Chinese
    chauffeur who throws a steel-bladed derby.

 3> Your goldfish have labeled the toilet seat "ESCAPE HATCH."

 2> Your retriever is wearing an eye patch and stroking a small cat
    in his lap.


            and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is Involved
            in a Conspiracy to Take Over the World...


 1> What did you think all those monkeys were REALLY typing?



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 32 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 1 (3rd #1)
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL         -- 2
Darcey Allen, Corona, CA          -- 3, 4
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 5, 9
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR           -- 6, 8
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 7
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD         -- 10
Beth Baniszewski, Columbia, MD    -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up List Name
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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            Signs Your Pet Is Involved in a Conspiracy
                      to Take Over the World
                  RUNNERS UP list -- Bad Plotz
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Bird cage lined with plans for a "dirty bomb."
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)

Cute knitted sweaters replaced by Kevlar vests and snazzy uniforms.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

He makes a "message drop" on your neighbor's front lawn.
          (Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)

Polly Parrot is not asking for crackers any more -- he's doing
logarithms and asking you to look up missile sites on Yahoo.
          (Darcey Allen, Corona, CA)

Rover wants to change his name to Saddam.
          (Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)

She signed a strategic alliance with Microsoft.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

That daily scattered birdseed? Code.
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

The cat has bound and gagged the canary again. Obviously it couldn't
be trusted not to sing.
          (Stephanie Thompson Brainerd, MN)

You find a copy of "World Domination for Felines" hidden in a pile
of Tiger's kitty porn.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

You found an L. Ron Hubbard shrine in the back of his doghouse.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Your bunnies, in an effort to create a world conquering army, are
breeding like... um, they're breeding a lot.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Your hamster runs in its wheel... but maniacally so.
          (Kate Melnyk, Dedham, MA)


Runner Up List Name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

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