TOP5 PETS
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Humor with a cold wet nose
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- Board Games for Pets
- Woofwoofwoofwoofwoof
- Pet-Based Tax Deductions
- Signs You Have Worse Breath Than Your Pet
- Signs Cats Have Taken Over the Government
- Fragrances for Dogs
- Reasons to Clone Your Pet, Part 1
- Reasons to Clone Your Pet, Part 2
- Scientific Names for Pets
- Pet Scenes Edited Out of Movies
- Additives You Didn't Realize Were in Your Pet's Food
- Advantages of Owning a Lethal Pet
- Bad Pet Care Lessons Learned From Movies
- Bands Appearing at Petstock '03
- Barnyard Haikus
- Benefits of Annoying Pet Behaviors
- Bio-Engineered Pets We Would Like to See
- Books on the Pets' Best Seller List
- Breed Names for Cloned Pets
- Broadway Shows About Pets
- Canine Bumper Stickers
- Cat Proverbs
- Changes If the NCAA Basketball Tournament Were Run by Dogs
- Changes That Will Come When the "Pet People" Take Over
- Chapters in "Pit Bulls for Dummies"
- Cocktails for Pets
- Consequences of Breastfeeding Puppies
- Courses at Monkey College
- Dances to do With Your Dog
- Designer Clothing Labels for Pets
- Diet and Fitness Programs for Pets
- Differences If God Were a Dog
- Differences if K-9 Cops Used Other Animals
- Differences If Shakespeare Had Been a Cat
- Differences if Shakespeare Had Been a Dog
- Differences if St. Valentine Had Been a Pet
- Differences if the Music Industry Were Run by Pets
- Differences if the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Were Run Like American Idol
- Dishes Served at the All-Pet Ecumenical Holiday Party
- Dog Tricks We'd Like to See
- "Doga" Poses
- Drawbacks of Having a Goldfish
- Euphemisms for "Getting Fixed"
- Euphemisms for "Leash"
- Euphemisms for "Pet Owner"
- Euphemisms for "Pets"
- Excerpts from a Parakeet's Blog
- Favorite Horror Movies of Pets
- Features of a $70,000 Dog
- Fortune Cookie Fortunes for Pets
- Greatest Moments in Pet History
- Highlights of the Pet Parade
- Holiday Songs for Pets
- Hymns to Sing at a Pet Funeral
- Items in Your Pet's Red Alert Stash
- Items on Pet Résumés
- Items on the Itinerary of a Bear on the Town
- Items on the Tanker Dog's To-Do List
- Jobs for Retired Police Dogs
- Lawsuits Filed by Pets
- Least-Known Steps in the Cat Adoption Process
- Least-Known Steps in the Dog Adoption Process
- Lesser-Known Pet Equations
- Little Known Facts About Sharks
- Menu Items at a Dog Restaurant
- Modern-Day Dog Disorders
- Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets
- Names in the Pet Rogues' Gallery
- New Year's Resolutions of Pets
- Other Reasons to Spay or Neuter Your Pet
- Other Ways to Prevent Your Pet From Breeding
- Passages from the Pet Bible
- Pet Cemetery Epitaphs
- Pet Party Faux Pas
- Pet Peeves of Cartoon Pets
- Pet Peeves of Presidential Pets
- Pet Peeves of Top5 Pets Contributors' Pets
- Pet Personal Ads
- Pet Psychological Disorders
- Pet Terrorists
- Pets' Excuses for Not Giving Up Smoking
- Phrases You Should Never Teach Your Parrot
- Post-Neutering Greeting Cards
- Questionable Money-Saving Tips for the Home Aquarium
- REAL Reasons Your Dog Is So Happy to See You
- Reality TV Series for Animals
- Reasons Cats Aren't Used as Guide Animals for the Blind
- Reasons Cats Don't Go Into Politics
- Reasons Dogs Dig in the Yard
- Reasons Pets Are Better Than Significant Others
- Reasons Pets Aren't Welcome in Opera Houses
- Reasons Pets Can't Compete in the Winter Olympics
- Reasons Santa Doesn't Use Other Animals to Pull His Sleigh
- Reasons the Rat Olympics Are Better Than the Human Olympics
- Reasons Your Cat Constantly Sticks Its Butt in Your Face
- Reasons Your Dog Didn't Win "Best in Show" at Westminster
- Reasons Your Ferret Is Not Perky Today
- Rejected Slogans for Adopt-A-Cat Month
- Scientific Discoveries About Animal Behaviors
- Secret Desires of Pit Bulls
- Self-Help Books for Pets
- Side Effects of Testicular Implants
- Signs A Dog Show Is Fixed
- Signs An Animal Has Had A Makeover
- Signs The Kitty Litter Needs Changing
- Signs You Hired Defective Bomb-Sniffing Dogs
- Signs You're Being Stalked by a Groomer
- Signs You're Not Cut Out to Be a Veterinarian
- Signs You're Spoiling Your Pet
- Signs You've Hired a Bad Dogwalker
- Signs Your Cat Is a Reincarnated NASCAR Driver
- Signs Your Chimp Is Having a Mid-Life Crisis
- Signs Your Parrot Was Previously Owned by a Celebrity
- Signs Your Pet Had a Party While You Were Out
- Signs Your Pet Has a Substance Abuse Problem
- Signs Your Pet Has Been Laid Off
- Signs Your Pet Has Been Using Your Computer
- Signs Your Pet Has Undergone Plastic Surgery
- Signs Your Pet Is a Dot-Com Millionaire
- Signs Your Pet Is a Prostitute
- Signs Your Pet Is a Reincarnated Relative
- Signs Your Pet Is Involved in a Conspiracy to Take Over the World
- Signs Your Pet Is Mad at You
- Signs Your Pet Is Really an Elephant
- Signs Your Pet Is Running for President
- Signs Your Pet Works for the CIA
- Signs Your Professor's Pet Is Grading Your Exams
- Signs Your Puppy Is Growing Up
- Signs Your Veterinary Bill Is Going to Require Financing
- Slogans to Promote Dog Consumption
- Soap Operas for Pets
- Songs About Spaying/Neutering
- Songs Performed at a Dog Wedding
- Street Names for Catnip
- Stupid Gator Hunting Tips
- Things Cats Do When No One Is Watching
- Things Overheard in the Office on Pet Owners' Independence Day
- Things Pets Dislike About Kids
- Thoughts a Cat Will Never Think
- TV Shows Produced by Pets
- Urban Legends Circulated by Pets
- Updated Dog Breed Names
- Uses for Regurgitated Hairballs
- Uses for Surplus Spiders
- Ways Pets Celebrate Reaching Legal Age
- Ways to Hide Your Pet from the Landlord
- Ways to Keep Cats From Clawing
- Ways Your Pet Prepares for Winter
- "Where Are They Now" Updates on TV Pets
- World Records Our Pets Could Break
- Worst Pet Grooming Tips
- Worst Puppy Training Tips
- Worst Things About Being Married to a Pet
- Worst Ways for Your Pet to Kill You
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Toucan play this game
October 16, 2001
The Top 9 Fortune Cookie Fortunes for Pets
9> The Beagle of Happiness will sniff with delight at your butt.
8> Someone thinks you're the special.
7> The hand that throws the ball does not always let go of
the ball.
6> The lowly cricket is both good tasting and less filling.
5> Nine lives only useful if one is Cat or Buddhist.
4> The path to true enlightenment is at the end of your tail.
3> Marking territory should be your Number One priority.
2> Loose lips lose bones.
and the Number 1 Fortune Cookie Fortune for Pets...
1> A journey of a thousand miles begins with being put
in a crate.
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 40 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 1, 6, 8 (Purr-fecta!)(2nd #1)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 3, Banner tag
Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA -- 4
Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 5
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 7, Topic
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 9
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Fortune Cookie Fortunes for Pets
RUNNERS UP list -- Confucius says: "'NO!"
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Claws on blinds, wake up time. Claws on drapes, owner irate!
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
Joyful tidings are yours! As today's journey ends, you will find
it was "clean-litter" day.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Opportunity knocks -- and the cupboard holding catnip mice
will be open!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Someone we know will be in heat next week. Keep your butt
indoors, girlfriend.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
The world is your sparkling clean toilet bowl. (Dogs only)
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
What the-- How the hell did you get into this cookie with no
opposable thumbs?
(Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)
Where there being baby, milk is nearby.
(Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)
Woof! Woof woof woof woof woof! (in bed)
(Jim Goldman, Horsham, PA)
You are going on a long journey with your head out the car window.
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
You are the most perfect creature on Earth, but then you're
a cat: you already know this.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
You feel like you're running in circles. (Hamsters only)
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Runner Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ]
[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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