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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                      Must be the puppy chow


                         January 21, 2002


                The Top 9 Euphemisms for "Pets"


 9> Abstract Carpet Artist

 8> Little Mark Cuban (incessantly barking dogs only)

 7> Godzilla Bait

 6> Furry Alarm Clock

 5> The 8" silver Yamaha four-valve student model...oh wait, 
    that's a EUPHONIUM for pets!

 4> Lap Junkie

 3> New-House-Smell Eradicator

 2> Avian-American


            and the Number 1 Euphemism for "Pet"...


 1> Hair Distribution Technician



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 36 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 1, 4 (3rd #1)
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX           -- 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      -- 3
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 5, 8
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY     -- 6
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 7, Runner Up list name
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI     -- 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- Topic
Charles Schnabel, Shaker Hts, OH  -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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                      Euphemisms for "Pets"
                 RUNNERS UP list  --  Misnomers
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Differently Pedaled Citizens
          (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)
          (Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)

Hairball Processing And Expulsion Units
          (Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)

Mister "Guard The House By Making A Moat When The
Doorbell Rings"
          (Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA)

Multi-legged Nonhuman Companion
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

My Fuzzy Little Nocturnal Foot Warmer
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Non-Deductible Meat Eater
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Person of Fur
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

The Behaving Child
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

The Lint Removal Industry's Best Friend
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

The Under-Table Cleaning Service
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Thief Slayer (unless the thief has dog biscuits or
a tennis ball)
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)


Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)


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[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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