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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                     Enlarged to show detail.


                         October 7, 2002


              The Top 10 Signs Your Veterinary Bill
                  Is Going to Require Financing


10> The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and   
    dollars.

 9> The bill came with payment coupons.

 8> Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.

 7> "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"

 6> He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of
    modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. 
    You own a goldfish.

 5> They take away the stool sample on a sterling silver serving
    tray.

 4> The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the 
    owners.

 3> You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle
    before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.

 2> "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators 
    are?"


            and the Number 1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill
                 Is Going to Require Financing...


 1> "We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 32 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX              -- 1 (5th #1)
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA     -- 2, 7
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                 -- 3
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI       -- 4, 5, 10 (Purr-fecta!)
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 6
Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL   -- 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA   -- 9
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD      -- Topic
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH   -- Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA      -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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     Signs Your Veterinary Bill Is Going to Require Financing
                 RUNNERS UP list -- Passed Doo
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"Well, yeah, the $19.95 hip surgery is an option, but if you really
love little Snookums here, the Complete Titanium Hip System is the
way to go."
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Before working on Fido they first perform a wallet biopsy on you.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Your python is eight feet long. Your vet charges by the inch.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

It would've been cheaper to spay the rest of the neighborhood.
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)

Super-sizing Fido's fake testicles doubles the cost of the 
operation.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

The clinic's mascot Golden Retriever flashes you a big toothy grin
and every one of those teeth is solid gold.
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

The receptionist has sharpened her pencil twice so far.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

The vet asks how you'd like your name spelled on the plaque in the
new wing.
          (Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)

The vet muses that your pet's name would make a good name for a 
boat.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

They mention dilithium crystals.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Vet offers a 36-month/30,000-trot extended warranty.
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)


Runner Up list name
          (Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)

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