==================================================================
              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
==================================================================

                     Kibbles, bits, whatever


                        November 12, 2001

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

      Thursday, November 15 is the Great American Smoke Out,
     a day to get a jump-start on kicking the cigarette habit.
       Just remember that pets don't have the same willpower 
            as humans so they'll need your help to quit.
                To that end, be on the lookout for:


        The Top 10 Pets' Excuses For Not Giving Up Smoking


10> Dog: Nicotine gum sticks to the roof of my mouth.

 9> Goldfish: You kidding? I just got it lit!

 8> Cat: That smoker's cough REALLY helps bring up the hairballs!

 7> Poodle: Smoking is elegant, Dahlink! Besides, the "patch" 
    won't adhere to my luxurious coat!

 6> Ant Farm Ants: Have a 3-second work break every 24 hours, 
    need to pass the time somehow.

 5> Poker-Playing Dogs: What's poker without cigars?

 4> Rabbit: Doesn't smoke that many anyway, just one after sex.

 3> Dog: I'm gonna die when I'm 9 anyway.

 2> White Rat: When I was working in the medical lab they told
    me it was good for me.


    and the Number 1 Pets' Excuse for Not Giving Up Smoking...


 1> Chimp: Riding a tricycle in a cowboy hat without a smoke 
    just looks stupid.



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]



==================================================================
Selected from 51 submissions from 18 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA  -- 1, 9 (3rd #1)
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX           -- 2, 10
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA          -- 3
Doug Finney, Houston, TX          -- 4, 9
Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ           -- 5, 6
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA   -- 5, 7
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY        -- 6
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 8
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI     -- 9
Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA      -- 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- Topic, Runner Up List Name
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

==================================================================
             Pets' Excuses for Not Giving Up Smoking
                RUNNERS UP list  --  Butt Draggers
------------------------------------------------------------------

All the other lemmings are doing it.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Bulldog: A face like mine was MEANT for a cigar.
          (Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY)

Cat: And give up the delightful skankyness of nicotine-phlegm 
hairballs?
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Cat: Gets really grouchy and only able to take 4 naps a day.
          (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)

Cat: Have to appear tough in a neighborhood overrun with dogs.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Cat: Trying to set Guinness record for quickest to use up all 
nine lives.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Cat: Won't give up smoking until you give up catnip.
          (Doug Finney, Houston, TX)

Dog: Need to get that fresh scent out of my mouth after eating
one of those tartar control milk bones.
          (Jim Goldman, Horsham, PA)

Dog: There's nothing better after a good leg hump.
          (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)

Dog: What else is going to give me that deep, throaty growl
for the mailman?
          (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
          (Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)

Ferret: Too nervous and jumpy without its nicotine fix.
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Hamsters, gerbils and mice: Smoking makes us look cool like the
guinea pigs, chihuahuas and other big pets.
          (Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)

Horse: I saw Mr. Ed do it on TV. He's my idol.
          (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)

Pot-bellied Pig: Just doesn't need to gain any more weight.
          (Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)

Rabbit: It automatically disqualifies you from having cosmetics
tested on you.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)


Runner Up list name
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)


==================================================================
[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
==================================================================