TOP5 PETS

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                        September 17, 2001


           The Top 10 Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets


10> Shiatsu Butt-Scratcher: For those hard-to-reach areas, when 
    your human isn't around.

 9> Algae Salad Spinner

 8> Automatic Testicle Licker (assuming, that is, you can 
    get it away from the humans)

 7> Scent-Marker GPS

 6> Estrus Organizer: Track heat cycles of all the neighborhood
    females.

 5> Master that refrigerator door with Grippo (TM) prosthetic
    replacement paws with opposable thumbs.

 4> Rodent Poofer: Gives your gerbil a fashionable poodle-like
    hair style.

 3> The Crapper: "Crap on, crap off..."

 2> You've Got Pee-Mail: An electronic device hooked up the fence 
    posts around the yard that sounds a subsonic dog alarm to 
    let Fido know that another dog has whizzed on his fence.


    and the Number 1 Must-Have Gadget for Yuppie Pets ...


 1> Feng Shui Yard Pile Chart: Poop in harmony with nature!



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]



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Selected from 41 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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James Knowles, Bellingham, WA  -- 1, 4 (Attaboy! 2nd #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA       -- 2
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 3, 8
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX        -- 5
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY  -- 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX         -- 6
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL -- 7, 8
Laurie Northrup, Stray         -- 9
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA     -- 10
Jake Tompkins, Aledo, TX       -- 10
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- Topic, Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA     -- List Vet

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                Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets
                RUNNERS UP list  --  Nieman-Barfus
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Bark-activated phone dialer for dogs with clumsy paws.
          (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)

Doghouse theatre, complete with a collection of Lassie DVDs 
(including the uncut adult versions not fit for the puppies 
to see)
          (Patrick O'Driscoll, St Louis, MO)

DVtweet: Why continually repeat the same inane song, when a fully
digitized recording will handle it?
          (Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)

Fur Flowbee
          (Laurie Northrup, Stray)

LBSS: Lassie's Butt Smell Spray
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Paw Pilot: Organizes your daily, doggie needs.  Schedule enough 
time to chase the cat, bark at the mailman, *and* chew on 
everything valuable in the house!
          (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
          (Laurie Northrup, Stray)
          (Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)

PowerPaws: Velcro Paw Pads for dogs to help them adhere to the 
legs of your guests.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Redundant Cat Treats: Fish egg cat treats that taste like caviar.
          (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)

Sharper Image Cat Motivator (looks very similar to a can of tuna
and an electric opener.)
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Shoescoop: Automatically transfers catbox goodies into owner's 
shoes.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Smell Phone: Check out other dogs' butts without leaving the 
house!
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

Why wag your own tail?  Get fitted with a ButtWaggler (TM) 
solar-powered electrostatic rear-end twitcher.
          (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)


Runner Up list name
          (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)



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