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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Cats ask for it by name!
September 17, 2001
The Top 10 Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets
10> Shiatsu Butt-Scratcher: For those hard-to-reach areas, when
your human isn't around.
9> Algae Salad Spinner
8> Automatic Testicle Licker (assuming, that is, you can
get it away from the humans)
7> Scent-Marker GPS
6> Estrus Organizer: Track heat cycles of all the neighborhood
females.
5> Master that refrigerator door with Grippo (TM) prosthetic
replacement paws with opposable thumbs.
4> Rodent Poofer: Gives your gerbil a fashionable poodle-like
hair style.
3> The Crapper: "Crap on, crap off..."
2> You've Got Pee-Mail: An electronic device hooked up the fence
posts around the yard that sounds a subsonic dog alarm to
let Fido know that another dog has whizzed on his fence.
and the Number 1 Must-Have Gadget for Yuppie Pets ...
1> Feng Shui Yard Pile Chart: Poop in harmony with nature!
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 41 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 1, 4 (Attaboy! 2nd #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 2
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 3, 8
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 5
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 6
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL -- 7, 8
Laurie Northrup, Stray -- 9
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA -- 10
Jake Tompkins, Aledo, TX -- 10
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- Topic, Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets
RUNNERS UP list -- Nieman-Barfus
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Bark-activated phone dialer for dogs with clumsy paws.
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Doghouse theatre, complete with a collection of Lassie DVDs
(including the uncut adult versions not fit for the puppies
to see)
(Patrick O'Driscoll, St Louis, MO)
DVtweet: Why continually repeat the same inane song, when a fully
digitized recording will handle it?
(Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)
Fur Flowbee
(Laurie Northrup, Stray)
LBSS: Lassie's Butt Smell Spray
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Paw Pilot: Organizes your daily, doggie needs. Schedule enough
time to chase the cat, bark at the mailman, *and* chew on
everything valuable in the house!
(Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
(Laurie Northrup, Stray)
(Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)
PowerPaws: Velcro Paw Pads for dogs to help them adhere to the
legs of your guests.
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Redundant Cat Treats: Fish egg cat treats that taste like caviar.
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
Sharper Image Cat Motivator (looks very similar to a can of tuna
and an electric opener.)
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Shoescoop: Automatically transfers catbox goodies into owner's
shoes.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Smell Phone: Check out other dogs' butts without leaving the
house!
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
Why wag your own tail? Get fitted with a ButtWaggler (TM)
solar-powered electrostatic rear-end twitcher.
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
Runner Up list name
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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