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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                        Made with Real Beef!


                            June 3, 2002


               The Top 9 Jobs for Retired Police Dogs


9> Switch sides and advise drug cartels on how odor-proof their
     containers are.

8> Security guard/greeter at Petsmart.

7> Pursue complaint that just because mandatory retirement age
     is 1/7th of what human officers have, pension shouldn't be
     reduced as well.

6> Chasing cars is for losers. Go to law school and become an
     *ambulance* chaser.

5> A hat and sunglasses and the carpool lane is ours, baby!

4> Mediate turf wars between rival gangs marking the same
     territory.

3> Provide bark-over commentary for "Cops" segments that involve
     K9 officers.

2> Form a rock band called "The Village Puppies" with the dogs of
     construction workers, bikers, Indian chiefs, etc.


          and the Number 1 Job for Retired Police Dogs...


1> Team up with retired seniors and really put some teeth into
     "Hey, you! Get off of my lawn!"



              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 24 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 1, 5 (Good girl! 1st #1)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA        -- 2, Topic
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA      -- 3, 8
Brian E. Foster, Holt, MI            -- 4, 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA       -- 6
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA         -- 7
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH    -- Runner Up list name
Charles Schnabel, Shaker Heights, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA           -- List Vet

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                    Jobs for Retired Police Dogs
             RUNNERS UP list -- Private Investigators
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Continue fighting crime by biting door-to-door salesmen.
           (Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA)

Expert witness in dog bite cases.
           (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

Mauling unarmed individuals "just for old times sake."
           (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Open up a chain of butcher shops with all that "don't smell" money
the Mob has been paying him.
           (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Patrol floor of local donut shop.
           (Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA)
           (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
           (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

Run for dogcatcher.
           (Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)

Spokescanine for doghouse security systems.
           (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)


Runner Up list name
           (Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)

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