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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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             Cat Hair - The Timeless Fashion Accessory


                            May 20, 2002


             The Top 10 Signs That Your Professor's Pet
                       Is Grading Your Exams


10> The comments are no less legible than usual, but you think
     that this time the brown stains aren't coffee.

9> His parrot's penmanship is better.

8> Instead of red pen marks chewing you out for incorrect
     answers, you find that the incorrect answers themselves
     have been chewed out.

7> Why else would 50% of your Physics grade depend on your
     answer to the ball throwing question?

6> "Your essay was particularly weak, your short answers show
     a complete lack of comprehension of the topic and you can't
     fill in blanks to save your life. Yet *I'm* the one who got
     neutered -- go figure."

5> You fail your history midterm because all your dates are off
     by a factor of seven.

4> You get an F on your Egyptian mythology paper for referring
     to the practice of cat-worship as "archaic."

3> "For a story of mice and men, you seemed awfully focused on
     the men..."

2> Your Dramatic Writing paper comes back marked "Me and my
     buddies did better than this typing at random."


          and the Number 1 Sign That Your Professor's Pet
                      Is Grading Your Exams...


1> Papers that were stored in your gym bag invariably get the
     highest marks.



              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 31 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ    -- 1 (3rd #1)
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX           -- 2, 5, 10 (Purr-fecta!)
Kate Melnyk, Dedham, MA           -- 3
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA      -- 4, 8, 10 (Purr-fecta!)
Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL -- 6
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 7, Topic
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA          -- 9
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up list name
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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                  Signs That Your Professor's Pet
                       Is Grading Your Exams
                 RUNNERS UP list -- Paper Chasers
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Forget intellectual content, just doing it "on the paper" wins
lavish praise.
           (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

In lieu of comments, there's just a big yellow stain on the first
page.
           (Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)

Offers to raise your grade -- "if you scratch my tum, then I'll
scratch yours."
           (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)

The paper is smeared with wire wheel grease, it smells vaguely of
sawdust and your grade is spelled out in little brown pellets.
           (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

The returned exam is covered with slightly more slobber than
usual.
           (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Your bluebook wasn't so much graded as it was shaken to pieces.
           (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)


Runner Up list name
           (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)


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