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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Pop Goeth Before the Weasel
January 20, 2003
NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:
The Berlin Zoo has stirred up controversy by
"retiring" middle-aged chimps who are too sluggish
to be of interest to paying customers.
The Top 9 Signs Your Chimp Is Having a Mid-Life Crisis
9> Traded in the old kiddie-car for a red 'Vette.
8> Has replaced his Michael Jackson posters with shots of
Avril Lavigne eating a banana.
7> She trades her cowgirl outfit for a slutty schoolgirl
uniform.
6> He's dropped Camus, Kant and Kierkegaard in favor of
Erma Bombeck.
5> He spurns Jane Goodall and will only be studied by her
hot blonde research associate.
4> He secretly yearns to be poached.
3> His old fantasy of swinging through the jungle with Tarzan has
been replaced by dreams of a round of golf with Gerald Ford.
2> Flinging poop at onlookers now requires a dose of Metamucil
beforehand.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Chimp Is
Having a Mid-Life Crisis...
1> You've seen bad toupees before, but never on an ass.
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 32 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 1, 2 (4th #1)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 3
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD -- 4, 5
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 6, 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 7, Topic
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 8
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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