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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                          Hot deity dog!


                        December 29, 2003


             The Top 9 Differences If God Were a Dog


 9> There would be a special spot in hell for people who fake
    throwing the ball.

 8> You know that snake in the Temptation of Eve story? A cat.

 7> Bakers of dog biscuits would be allowed special dispensations.

 6> A popular derogatory phrase would now apply to Jesus.

 5> Fleas would be extinct.

 4> Dietary laws about not eating unclean food? Right out the
    window.

 3> Instead of striking trailer parks, tornadoes would wreck post
    offices.

 2> Before receiving communion, worshippers must first balance 
    the wafers on their noses for five seconds.


          and the Number 1 Difference If God Were a Dog...


 1> Most "acts of God" could be survived with the help of a little
    carpet shampoo.



              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 46 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Larry Hollister, Concord, CA                  -- 1, 6 (8th #1)
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH             -- 2, 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH                 -- 2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX                        -- 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA                 -- 4
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA             -- 7, RU list name
Justin Cascio, Brooklyn, NY                   -- 8
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, South Africa -- 9
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA               -- 9
Stephanie Thompson, Brainerd, MN              -- Topic
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI           -- Topic
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA                -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA                    -- List Vet

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                  Differences If God Were a Dog
              RUNNERS UP list -- Next to Dogliness
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All church choirs would perform "How Much Is That Doggie in the
Window?"
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

All dyslexics would go to heaven.
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

All sinners reincarnated as mailmen.
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

He'd spend most of eternity jumping around and barking wildly, as
a steady stream of people keep showing up at St. Peter's gate.
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Hell is full of frisky squirrels just out of reach and cats eating
out of your bowl.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

Holy water now comes from the toilet bowl.
          (Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)

Leash laws the world over apply only to cats.
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

Most sacred hymn: Theme from Lassie.
          (Judy Goodman, Wilmette, IL)

One of the Ten Commandments would involve walkies.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)


Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

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