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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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July 9, 2001
The Top 8 Bio-Engineered Pets We Would Like To See
8> Siamese Siamese cats
7> Telepathic dogs with opposable thumbs to grab beers for you
during the big game
6> A pet rock that will fetch your paper
5> Dog that not only provides companionship and protection, but
can also prepare a really good white sauce
4> A cat whose urine smells like potpourri
3> Male hamsters with less intimidating genitalia
2> Flatulent fish that automatically aerate their own aquarium
and the Number 1 Bio-Engineered Pet We Would Like To See...
1> Guinea pigs that explode violently upon contact with cosmetic
products
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 35 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
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Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 1 (Attaboy! 1st #1)
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 2, 3
Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 4
Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL -- 4
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA -- 5
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 6, 8, RU list name
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Topic
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington VA -- List Vet
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Bio-Engineered Pets We Would Like To See
RUNNERS UP list -- Biohazard
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A trainable cat
(Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Cats that could talk, but only if they used a "Veddy Proper"
British accent
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Combat Gerbils. By day: cute, harmless pets; By night: Vigilante
Rodents of Doom hunting down and slaying the perpetrators of those
crude gerbil jokes.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Dogs with no romantic interest in human legs whatsoever
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Literally golden retrievers
(Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY)
Parrots with opposable thumbs so they can get their own damn
cracker
(Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)
Poison snake with antivenin in its left fang
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Poodles who actually look good in little booties and matching
sweaters
(Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)
Self-flushing goldfish
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
(Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)
Self-walking dog with built-in poop-scoop and bags
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Runner Up list name
(Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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