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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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New ultra-clumping formula!
May 15, 2001
The Top 9 Signs Your Pet Is A Dot-Com Millionaire
9> Drinks imported toilet water instead of that domestic swill.
8> His attorneys now demand that you sign a prepetual agreement.
7> A brand new Beemer is delivered to your door with newsprint
upholstery and a shiny sterling silver bell hanging from the
rear-view mirror.
6> The good news: when you're sick, Fluffy now takes YOU to the
doctor's office in his chauffeured Rolls-Royce.
The bad news: you ride in a carrier.
5> According to People Magazine, he's humping Liv Tyler's leg
these days.
4> Howls at the moon all night whenever NASDOG goes down.
3> He's gone from Kibbles & Bits to Gigas & Bytes.
2> One minute she buys the Toronto Blue Jays; the next minute,
feathers everywhere!
and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is A Dot-Com Millionaire...
1> He remembers when YAHOO! only meant we were going for a
ride in the car.
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 36 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
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Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 1,3 (Good boy! 1st #1!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA, -- 2,4, HM List Name
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- 5
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 6
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 7, RU List Name
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 9
Kevin Black, Misawa City, Japan -- Topic
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- RU List Name, Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Signs Your Pet Is A Dot-Com Millionaire
RUNNERS UP list -- Pets Dot Bomb
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Guess who gets to wear the leash now, Chester?
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Scratching post makes cover of Architectural Digest
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
That sock puppet now works for him...cleaning the litter box.
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
The aquarium treasure chest is life size, and filled with
doubloons.
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
The parrot snickers every time you line his cage with your
401(k) statements.
(Karry Herrington, Stray)
When you yell "Fetch," brings back a copy of the Wall Street
Journal and a cappuccino.
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
Runner Up list name
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
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Signs Your Pet Is A Dot-Com Millionaire
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Barksdale Up The Wrong Tree
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Cat condo is wired, right down to the remote electric can opener.
(Peg Warner, Exeter, NH)
Combines business with pleasure by spending the morning with his
cellular chew-toy.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
He had Lasik surgery, and he's a fly.
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Hires an assistant to help with all the sleeping, scratching of
furniture and shedding.
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
Tiddles insists that her saucer of milk must be frothed with hot
steam and sprinkled with cinnamon.
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
You keep hearing a voice oddly like Sparky's, coming from the
computer room... "Bwahahaaaa.... I've got your *sock puppet*
right here!"
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Your bed? Now an oversized litter box.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Honorable Mention list name
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
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