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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                       Nearer My Dog to Thee


                         October 28, 2002


                 The Top 10 Pet Cemetery Epitaphs


10> Here lies Rex, who marked his final territory with embalming
    fluid.

 9> I TOLD you it wasn't a hairball!

 8> Polly Parakeet: Taking the final dirt bath.

 7> Now scratching on St. Peter's door.

 6> Here lies Fluffy, who went from sleeping 23 hours a day to 24.

 5> American Standard (goldfish only)

 4> Roll over! Play dead! Good dog.

 3> "Pet-safe" electric fence, my ass.

 2> Here lies Lucky. How ironic.


             and the Number 1 Pet Cemetery Epitaph...


 1> STAY!



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 41 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA     -- 1, 6 (7th #1)
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS              -- 2
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI       -- 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY             -- 4, 10, Topic
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 5, Banner Tag
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX             -- 7, Topic
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD           -- 8
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY       -- 9
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA        -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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                      Pet Cemetery Epitaphs
                  RUNNERS UP list -- Passed On
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"I figured the spaying has been done, how bad could another trip
to the vet be?"
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Curiosity didn't kill him. An 18-wheeler did.
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Fluffy was not a mechanic, yet he liked to hang out under the hood
of the Pontiac.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Gertie the gerbil, devoted and devouring mother of twenty-three.
          (Justin Cascio, Brooklyn, NY)

Here Lies Magellan the Turtle, now moving only slightly slower.
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Hoover: Choked inhaling that last sock
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

I NEVER wanted a cracker. Was the crackers what did me in.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Landed on his feet, but in quicksand.
          (Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)

Never met a toilet he didn't like
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

Our beloved goldfish, Goldy #763.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Sam: he shed his last skin
          (Justin Cascio, Brooklyn, NY)

Some land mines look an awful lot like grey Frisbees.
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)


Runner Up list name
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

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[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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