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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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             Beware of Dog... selling Amway products.


                         April 14, 2003

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

      Controversy surrounded the prestigious Crufts dog show
        this year, when the canine winner was accused of
                    having a secret facelift.


      The Top 9 Signs Your Pet Has Undergone Plastic Surgery


 9> You don't have to worry about spilling red wine on your toy
    poodle now that she's had herself Scotchgarded.

 8> He's hung like a horse, but he's a Chihuahua.

 7> She's got a big grin on her face -- and it's permanent.

 6> He has the most impressive musculature of all your hamsters,
    but he never spends any time on the wheel.

 5> Your goldfish? Amphibious.

 4> You used to own a Shar-Pei. Now it looks like you're walking
    Joan Rivers on a leash.

 3> Even when roused for middle-of-the-night intruder manglings,
    the Doberman's eyeliner is perfect.

 2> Your Vietnamese pot-bellied pig now has six-pack abs and        
    Michael Jackson's nose.


              and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Has 
                 Undergone Plastic Surgery...


 1> The cat has started borrowing all of your push-up bras.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 43 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Barb McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI         -- 1, 4 (Good girl! 1st #1)
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD           -- 2, 8
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA    -- 3
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 4
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA      -- 5, Topic
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                 -- 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX              -- 7, 8
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA     -- 9
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH   -- Runner Up list name
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA       -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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           Signs Your Pet Has Undergone Plastic Surgery
            RUNNERS UP list -- The Old Collagen Try
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All eight nipples are just under her chin.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

He's got bloodhound feet, a bloodhound tail and a bloodhound body,
but what's with that pug nose?
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

It now takes Rover 20 minutes to lick his privates.
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Only collagen treatments can explain your boa constrictor's sudden
need for Chap Stick.
          (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)

The papers say Shar-Pei, but it sure looks like a Greyhound.
          (Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)
          (Gideon Griebenow, Potch, NorthWest, SA)
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Then: Big floppy ears.
Now: Big floppy wings.
          (Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA )

Your guppy's gravid spot looks just like a goatee.
          (Gideon Griebenow, Potch, NorthWest, SA)


Runner Up list name
          (Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)

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