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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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           When life hands you tetras, make tetrazzini.


                        September 29, 2003

                      NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

     As you know, September 22 was Elephant Appreciation Day.
We were all set to celebrate this elephelicitous occasion with
our sister list, Top5 Kids, but then a mighty wind named Isabel
came through town and blew all the elephants off our patio. We've
only just tracked them all down so now, one week later, we are
   inventing and observing Orthodox Elephant Appreciation Day.


          The Top 9 Signs Your Pet Is Really an Elephant


 9> When he lost to that poodle he went rogue and trampled the
    Westminster judges.

 8> Your peanut farm has never turned a profit.

 7> You have to replace broken perches several times a day.

 6> Her purring registers at the seismographic station 20 miles
    away.

 5> There's always a knot of poachers lurking outside.

 4> He bawls uncontrollably whenever you play the piano.

 3> You're the only one at obedience class wearing a wetsuit and
    carrying a snow shovel and a 55-gallon Hefty Steel-Sak.

 2> Using the electric can opener is an invitation for a 
    trampling.


     and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is Really an Elephant...


 1> After your father's funeral you realize it's high time to 
    break Fido of his leg-humping habit.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 43 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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James Knowles, Bellingham, WA       -- 1 (15th #1)
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA       -- 2
Stephanie Thompson, Brainerd, MN    -- 3, 5
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 3, 8
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI        -- 3
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD           -- 4
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                 -- 6
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA      -- 6
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL      -- 7, 9, Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA   -- Runner Up list name
Lil Owens, Stray                    -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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               Signs Your Pet Is Really an Elephant
              RUNNERS UP list -- Pack Your Trunks
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A backhoe and dumpster are needed to pick up her yard piles.
          (Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, South Africa)
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

He always slurps up everything, leaving the rest of the fish 
hungry and the aquarium half empty.
          (Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, South Africa)

He never forgets your birthday.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

He's never missed a fly ball when you've taken him out to the ball
game with you.
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

Most kittens don't fill the entire litter box in one trip.
          (Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)

She always votes Republican.
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

She keeps getting stuck in the Habitrail.
          (Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI)

You haven't seen him since you got your pet mouse.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)


Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

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